Look, therr's Springer. Let's go doon and listen tae his patter, he's a scream when he starts.'

As we head toward him we can see he's into his usual routine; he's on his toes; swaying from side to' side like a boxer warming up. He's never still. That's how he got his nickname. He's twenty, maybe twenty-one. That makes him five or six years older than us.

'Hiyah, Springer.'

'Hello therr, boys.' He acts as if he hadn't seen us coming. He spots I have an American comic tucked under my arm. 'Whit's the comic? Gie's a look.'

Reluctantly I draw it out. 'It's Superman - but ah've no read it yet.'

'Don't worry, ah'm no wanting a lend of it. Jist haud it up and gie's a look at the cover.'

I hold it tightly between both hands so as he can see the artwork on the front.

'Och, yer awright, ah've read that wan. Anywye, ah've gone aff Superman. Ah'm no gonny read him again!'

One or two of us laugh.

"You've gone aff him. Why? Whit's the matter wi' him?'

He sways slightly, changes balance. 'Ah'm beginning tae huv ma doubts aboot him. Ah think e might be a bit of a nancy-boy!'

SUPERMAN!' we chorus. 'You've got tae be joking.' Springer tries to look serious. 'How auld would ye say Superman man is?' After a quick discussion amongst the four of us agree on twenty-eight.

Right, twenty-eight. Now, that Lois Lane. the wumman reporter oan the Daily Planet, she really fancies him, dizn't she?'

'Aye.' We know that we are about to be led off on a verbal goose chase.. but it'll be fun.

'So, how come Superman huznae s*****d her by now?' We burst out laughing. 'It's a comic, ye cannae huv them s*****n' in a comic.' 　

'How no? It's obvious Lois Lane really goes for him, so, how come he's no intae her drawers? He diznae even seem interested.'

Even as we protest, we can't help laughing. 'Aw c'mon Springer. Ye cannae get away wi' that.'

'Right, ah'll jist huv tae prove it tae ye's. Now, would ye's agree that Superman is a fine, big healthy fella?'

'Aye.'

'He's absolutely bursting wi' muscles and energy and aw the rest of it?'

'Aye.' 　

'So how come he's no s******g Lois?' "Cause he isnae.'

See Springer2