There was this small church down in Texas that had a very big-busted organist.  Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while  she played the organ.  Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.

The very proper church ladies were appalled.  They  said some thing had to b e done about this or they would have to get another  organist.

One of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons and rub them on her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size, but warned her to not eat any of the green persimmons, though, because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a while.

 
She agreed to try it.

The following Sunday morning the minister got up on the pulpit and said. . . . ."Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hath a thermon tewday."